The Proteactor
by Tara.PoM-Buffy
Summary: Something went wrong with Kowalski's machine once again, and now Kowalski and Rico are babies while Skipper and Private are left to take care of them. What are two men to do? Gets humorous down the line! Pairing: Skivate later on... Next update: Unknown
1. Chapter 1: Transformed

Tara: Well this is a cute idea I thought, and soon it's going to be funny… XD

Chapter 1: Transformed

Kowalski was in his lab late at night working on his new invention like he always does anymore. "Hey Kowalski what are you doing?" Private came into the lab asking. "Well I'm working on my Proteactor which will be used to create children…" Kowalski answered. "Why? Don't we already have enough penguins here?" Private asked. "Yeah, but I overheard Alice saying that if the female penguin doesn't have any kids soon one of us are going to be sent to… the Breeding Center" Kowalski stated. "Oh. Who does she think is the female?" Private asked. "I don't know…" Kowalski replied.

"So who will be the mom and dad if we do get a new penguin?" Private asked again. "I haven't worked that out yet. We'll see by tomorrow. Now please leave me to finish my work" Kowalski said. "Alright see you later Kowalski" Private said leaving the lab. Kowalski sighed, and turned a knob.

~ (Tomorrow)

"So what machine that ultimately fails do you have to show us now?" Skipper asked Kowalski while he stood in front of his Proteactor. "When I give my presentation I will tell you… I'm still waiting for Private" Kowalski replied. "Where is that brit anyway?" Skipper said looking around. The hatch suddenly opened, and down came Private with a bunch of baby supplies. "Sorry for being late but I wanted to be prepared…" Private said while setting the stuff down next to the bunks. "Alright" Kowalski said while revealing his machine. "This is my Proteactor!" Kowalski exclaimed.

"Normally Kowalski I would try to change the name, but I just feel like I'm bored right now…" Skipper sighed. "Hmm…" Kowalski hummed surprised Skipper was actually tired. "Anyways the Proteactor produces offspring without having actually genetics… well at least I hope" Kowalski started. "Why do we need kids around?" Skipper asked. "Well Alice is planning on sending the one she thinks is a female to the Breeding Center if no offspring come soon" Kowalski replied. "In that case go ahead!" Skipper exclaimed not wanting to lose one of his best friends.

"Alright who wants to test it?" Kowalski asked. "Not me I vote Private!" Skipper said. "W-what?" Private said surprised. A while went by as the two continued trying to get the other to do it. Rico got up from the table sighing as he took the spot next to Kowalski. "Well looks like Rico volunteers" Kowalski stated. Skipper and Private then returned to the same positions before. "Now I have to have two to test, but don't worry I'm being the other. Anyway let's set up" Kowalski said.

"Wait why do we have to have test subjects anyway?" Skipper asked. "It has to take our genetic make up to produce a baby" Kowalski replied while attaching wires to them both. "Okay here we go" Kowalski said while pulling the lever. The machine spitted, and then a giant lightning strike covered the room.

"Kowalski was that normal?" Skipper asked looking around a bit and then refocusing his eyes. Suddenly a baby cry was heard. Private and Skipper who hadn't been affected were meet with a surprise… there by the machine were two babies, but not just any… no it was Kowalski and Rico…

Tara: So what do you think so far? I got to now get to The Girl Inside so laters everyone! Hope you enjoyed it so far! Trust me it's going to get way way funny! XD


	2. Chapter 2: Marlene's Advice

Tara: Second chapter is here!

Chapter 2: Marlene's advice

"Skippah what do we do?!" Private said freaking out. "I don't know at this point. Although I would say we need to get Kowalski to stop crying…" Skipper answered picking Kowalski up who was screaming right now. "How do we do that?" Private asked. "Well… um… wait Marlene's a girl right?" Skipper asked. "Uh… yeah…" Private said. "Then let's ask her! Girl's always know what to do with babies!" Skipper shouted quickly leaving the base and Private and Rico behind. "Wait Skipper you forgot Rico!" Private called picking up the baby and leaving after him.

~ (Marlene's Habitat)

"You expect me to know how to take care of a baby?" Marlene asked raising her eyebrow. "Well you're a girl and girls are suppose to know what to do with them!" Skipper replied. "No we're not entitled to. Newsflash Skipper that's a penguin baby, and the father penguin is suppose to know what to do with them" Marlene stated. "Well yeah but… what if something goes wrong?!" Skipper replied. "Look Skipper. Tell you what I'll be the backup parent so you don't have to worry if something goes wrong. Besides you have Private and he's very good at parenting" Marlene told him. "Yeah he was pretty good at it…" Skipper said looking down to Kowalski.

Kowalski was just pretty much staring at the two of them now. Then he suddenly started to cry again. "Ugh I still don't get what's wrong with him though!" Skipper complained. Private and Rico then suddenly came rushing in, and he handed baby Rico to Marlene while turning to face Skipper. "I've got the answer!" Private shouted happily. "What is it?" Skipper asked. Private then pulled out a bottle of milk, and took baby Kowalski into his flippers, and then gave it to him. Kowalski after a while grabbed onto the bottle with his flippers and started to suck on it. "He was hungry!" Private said.

"How did you figure that out?" Skipper asked. "Well before I left Rico was hungry too so it was logical thinking. That's why it took me so long…" Private said. "Oh that makes sense" Skipper said. "Oh boy this is going to be one heck of a challenge…" Marlene said to the baby Rico who smiled in reply.

Tara: Finished! Bad News I am on writer's block for Girl's Night Out in case anyone wants to read the next chapter soon. So till I write chapter 3 see you later! :D


	3. Chapter 3: Mama and Dada

Tara: Well here's chapter 3. People please stop bugging me into updating my stuff. I just started working minimum wage in Dairy Queen. My boyfriend cheated on me, and I have a four year old daughter I have to care of singly now. Please stop you people are going to make me cry…

Chapter 3: Momma and Dada

"Okay so… what do we do now?" Skipper asked Private. "Um I don't know…" Private answered. "Man this is where I'd usually ask Kowalski for options…" Skipper said looking at the baby version of his scientist. Kowalski blinked his eyes up at him and then smiled. Rico sat beside him slobbering all over his flipper. "Kowalski and Rico do make cute little babies though" Private said smiling himself. "Yeah… anyway let's figure out what to do next" Skipper stated. Marlene jumped down the hatch again.

"Hey guys again I forgot to mention. The baby versions of Kowalski and Rico will be calling one of you mom and or dad" Marlene said. "Hah if they call anyone dad it'll be me" Skipper said smiling. Kowalski jumped down from the table, and walked over to Skipper. Skipper, Private, and Marlene looked at him. Kowalski grabbed Skipper's flipper, and said- "momma!". Skipper blushed to this, and the other two snickered. "I am not mommy I am daddy" Skipper said lifting the baby Kowalski. Kowalski hugged his little flippers around Skipper's neck. "Momma!" he shouted again.

"Looks like the baby has chosen!" Marlene laughed. "I demand another test. Let Rico chose" Skipper said. Private picked Rico up taking him over to all of them. Rico looked at them confused. "Okay Rico who's mommy and whose daddy?" Private asked. Rico looked to both of them. Then looked at Private and said- "Daddy". "What?!" Skipper shouted. "Hey no yelling in front of the baby's that's the first lesson" Marlene said. "But I can't be their mother! Well I'm not, but I can't be their replaced mommy. I am a man of statue!" Skipper said. "Yeah we know, but they've chosen, and they're going to call you what they want to whether you like it or not" Marlene replied.

Tara: Short I know I'm a terrible person… *sigh*

Penguin Fact: Penguin males are known to be the soft and cuddly ones who will raise the baby alone on the frigid air of Antarctica. Females are known to be the tough warriors who fight for food and for protection. Now you know why I chose Skipper as mommy! ^_^

Next Chapter title: Dr. Blowhole the kidnapper!

Summary: It's kind of obvious. But Dr. Blowhole finds out about the baby versions of Kowalski and Rico, and kidnaps them. He plans to do horrible things… *shivers*


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